Coach Joi 
It is not what we’ve been taught After decades of abuse, I have had plenty of experiences with painful memories and reliving the sensations of the initial abuse event. There are places that can be difficult to drive by because of the abuse that occurred there. In the past, we’ve called these recurring trauma events, … Read more
The more I work in this field, the more I see the insidious victim blaming that is occurring in the societal narrative, the words of abusive men, and even the so-called mental health helpers in the field. If I am to leave a critical message to the those working in this field, the most crucial … Read more
It is not what we’ve been taught If you can’t tell yet, Center for Peace tackles the difficult topics, myths and outright wrong theories and models being used in psychology, mental health and the so-called “addiction-recovery” community. This post is going to be another CFP game changer. Emotions Explained It is important to note that … Read more
A Thought Exercise from a Victim of Targeted Partner Abuse© Writing about this topic is a bit bold and maybe more presumptive an exercise than I should undertake. That said, I also believe it might be instructive and helpful to many of the victims of targeted partner abuse©. As a social scientist I read the … Read more
Attempting to have a conversation with an abusive husband can be incredibly painful. What kind of heart does a man have who verbally berates his wife, or is dismissive of her or discounts her feelings? When there is an on-going pattern of problematic communication, it is important to consider a few factors. If conversations are … Read more
Breaking Down Shame and Guilt in a Healthy Way Let’s start this blog out with the acknowledgement that this is a tricky topic. It’s a topic that has been talked about in multiple forums. Like all constructs – let’s have grace for all of our different subjective positions on this issue. By way of clarification, … Read more
Maybe this is just my obdurate nature, but the idea that I’m unwell because of my husband’s sexual deviancy seriously bugs me. As an etymologist who believes words matter, I’ve spent years studying words to determine accurate descriptors of the behaviors of men who abuse sexually, emotionally, psychologically, etc. With the same tenacity, I want … Read more
How often have you had conversations with your husband hoping to get him to understand how you feel? How often did you feel dismissed in those conversations? Did he tell you he didn’t want to argue or fight with you? Did he say something about your past trauma? Regardless of what your husband said regarding … Read more
Myths and Facts Center for Peace is a life changing experience that is different from any other program. Over the years this program has helped countless clients learn to live a life of peace and safety. Leading this endeavor, it is not surprising to encounter a lot of resistance when the theories are not what … Read more
Correcting the Victim Blaming Terminology Moving away from terminology fostered in the addiction recovery community is the only way we will be able to establish truth and find peace in our lives as abused women. Correct terminology is critical for professionals in this field. Wives of abusive men deserve the truth. Abusers need to hear … Read more
