Unpacking the So-Called Struggle to Change or Recover

A phrase we hear often from the so-called “addiction recovery” community is that these men “struggle with porn.”  This is one of the worst excuses used for the consumption and betrayal of human beings. Men regurgitate this lame excuse to their wives, pastors, therapists and others to garner empathy for the difficulty of making the … Read more

Grieving Your Life and Your Dreams

A Different Kind of Grief ​​Earlier this week I heard Dr. Ramani talk about “grieving living people” (2024). This is a great topic to unpack alongside the model of “Targeted Partner Abuse©” Understanding Grief One great definition of grief is “a response to the loss of something significant.” We might interject this definition. “the false/misrepresentation … Read more

The “Fixer Phenomenon©”

Why abusive men should focus on correction not fixing During the many years of working with this population, there is a common theme that emerges as I begin my work with men who use “Targeted Partner Abuse©” – I call the “Fixer Phenomenon©.” Correcting Abuse Starts with Ownership Correcting abuse is a very doable action. … Read more