We Aren’t Sick – We Don’t Need Healing

Maybe this is just my obdurate nature, but the idea that I’m unwell because of my husband’s sexual deviancy seriously bugs me. As an etymologist who believes words matter, I’ve spent years studying words to determine accurate descriptors of the behaviors of men who abuse sexually, emotionally, psychologically, etc. With the same tenacity, I want … Read more

Blame, Fault and Responsibility

How often have you had conversations with your husband hoping to get him to understand how you feel? How often did you feel dismissed in those conversations? Did he tell you he didn’t want to argue or fight with you? Did he say something about your past trauma? Regardless of what your husband said regarding … Read more

The Truth About Center for Peace

Myths and Facts Center for Peace is a life changing experience that is different from any other program. Over the years this program has helped countless clients learn to live a life of peace and safety. Leading this endeavor, it is not surprising to encounter a lot of resistance when the theories are not what … Read more

Letting Go of the Term “Trauma Bonded”

Correcting the Victim Blaming Terminology Moving away from terminology fostered in the addiction recovery community is the only way we will be able to establish truth and find peace in our lives as abused women.  Correct terminology is critical for professionals in this field. Wives of abusive men deserve the truth. Abusers need to hear … Read more

Blame it on the Trauma

Have you ever heard your husband say he just needs to be patient until you get past the trauma?  What about all of the magnanimous gestures he makes to “help you heal” as though he’s been given some rescuer assignment to get you past the trauma? I ask these questions in all seriousness (though I … Read more

What is all the Emphasis on Forgiveness?

Have you been told you need to forgive, or worse, accused of not being forgiving enough? It is almost as if there is a demanded expectation for wives to forgive abusive husbands of their egregious behaviors.  Where does all of this come from? It isn’t just from the men who have a faith tradition. Nearly … Read more