Coach Joi 
In Part I of this series, we looked at sexual behavior being heavily influenced by the social scripts one adopts. Cultural scripts can become so familiar that we stop recognizing them as scripts. We begin to experience them as “the way things are.” Once that happens, we may stop examining the beliefs we have internalized … Read more
Part 1: How Cultural Scripts Shape Sexual Expectations This post is the first in a series where we present our position that our culture shapes our sexual scripts, but does not determine our behavior or interactions with one another in our primary intimate relationships. As such, we offer a critical examination of socially adopted ideas … Read more
When it is always about his way of seeing things You’ve lived through a lot when coercive control and ‘Targeted Partner Abuse’ has contaminated your marriage. As awful as all of this is to live with, what is often more difficult as the years go on, is to deal with his constant countering and arguing. It … Read more
Working in the field of betrayal, abuse, domestic violence, coercive control – (we have so many terms for the behaviors of men that harm women) – has led to being able to observe attitudes and behaviors of those who change and correct the abuse and those who do not. There are big differences. In this … Read more
In this week’s post we will be presenting on the topic of the discomfort and pain-avoidant man and the impact of this behavior on the women these men marry. For years, in this field we have addressed issues of abuse, power and control, and even (the wrongly assessed term), ‘narcissism’ to more fully grapple with … Read more
A serious conversation on many women’s experience with sex If sex is physically pleasurable and part of what keeps marriage together, what is happening that causes it to turn from intimacy to a duty. Why do so many women come into my office with decades of hurt and pain from their experiences with sex with … Read more
..and you have more control than you might want to admit In this week’s post we are going to unpack thinking patterns that become the problems we create in our own lives. Stay with us here – this may not sound like a topic you want to approach, but the reality is, what and how … Read more
It’s time to unpack some of the trash that is sold as psychology on social media. We’ve been biting our proverbial tongue for a while now. It’s time to just break loose with what is legitimate and what is rubbish. So much of what people are consuming online fuels the narratives that lead to abuse, … Read more
…and the way out of them We’ve been living with an abuser for a while, we’ve attended groups, read books, and yet still there are times when his tactics catch us off guard. When we are caught in the trap of the abuser it feels awful. We struggle to level set things so that we … Read more
Unpacking the Abusive Run-around If you have attempted to talk something over with a husband or intimate partner, you are likely familiar with male circular reasoning, and the aggressiveness that is often a part of this when the man is abusive. Circular reasoning, or circular arguments have footing in the field of logic. The position … Read more
