Trauma, Attachment Styles, and Identity

How faulty theories impact you and your well-being How often do you listen to a podcast, read books, or stumble across that perfect social media post that describes a condition that resonates with what you are going through? Many of us are searching for the answers. Social media has become “the authority for life.” It … Read more

What if Your Brain Processes by Prediction, not Reaction?

How would this change all of the psychological theories we believe? What if I told you that most of the information we learn in our psych classes or read online when we are attempting to create social media content for our coaching clients is wrong? What if you woke up one day thinking your brain … Read more

Correcting the Narrative

Unpacking the Stockholm Syndrome Myth For some reason lately, my social media feed has filled up with a considerable amount of posts on ‘Stockholm Syndrome’. Even though this term has been debunked several times by several authorities close to the case where this paleologistic reference was crafted.  I just read a story on a pretty-popular … Read more

Power and Pain = Coercive Control

The Main Tactics of Men Targeting Abuse of Their Intimate Partner In the early days of dissecting the elements of abuse and coercive control into the model most abuse specialists use today, we ran into a lot of pushback with the language, labels, and behaviors. As you are likely aware, most men refuse to accept … Read more

“Targeted Partner Abuse©”

Acting Against the Agency and Freedoms of The Targeted Victim  Experts in the field of Coercive Control refer to this behavior targeted on women by men as a crime against the freedoms of those women (Stark, 2007).  The patterns of abuse targeted on the wife trespass upon rights and freedoms that all human beings expect … Read more

The Latest in Targeted Weaponization©

“Semantic Abuse” You know an issue is important when we develop multiple terms for the same problem. In the field of “Targeted Partner Abuse©” or Coercive Control, this is particularly applicable. We have so many terms for abuse and the various abusive actions executed by men who target abuse on their spouse. In this week’s … Read more

Power and Control in our Intimate Relationships

You are all likely aware of the Power and Control Wheels (Pence & Paymar 1983) that shifted the trajectory of the field of domestic violence. Initially these wheels were meant to visually represent patterns of male batterers towards their intimate partner. As valuable as these tools are, they have become siloed in the domestic abuse/violence … Read more

Betrayal, The Death of the Soul

I have not taken the opportunity to write a blog on the topic of betrayal. There are many reasons for not getting into this topic, not the least of which is the over-use of the word, which waters down, and blames victims. So, today – here goes. Describing a Husband’s Betrayal There are a lot … Read more

The “I Deserve” Fallacy

A Discussion on Privilege Thinking Errors This topic may generate some heat, but if you’ll bear with me for a bit, I’ll try to make a valid point with the title of this post. “I Deserve or Just-world” Fallacy I’ve cogitated on this topic for some time due to the number of discussions I have … Read more

Holding Space is More than a Social Statement

According to Google, the term “holding space” was popularized by Donald Winnicott in 1960. It gained traction when Heather Plett used the term in a blog post sometime in 2015. We all chuckle at the phrase now thanks to the bit from Wicked. In the clinical field, we speak about holding space as a process … Read more