Coach Joi 
In this week’s blog, we’ll unpack some of the lame excuses and narratives we often hear as justification for abusive thinking. One point we want to clarify is this: in recent years, people helpers have flooded social media. With them come all of the various iterations of terms that explain abuse; most common, of course, … Read more
How to understand some of the tactics and conditions of these conversations When interacting with an abusive husband, trying to have a peaceful conversation stretches us beyond measure. We learn how to speak differently with them, while also attempting to protect our values and honor our own dignity. It takes tenacity and some painful learning … Read more
Asking the question, ‘Why are we giving our agency to these systems?’ Part I In last week’s blog, we briefly discussed the topic of socially constructed meaning. In this post, we’ll broaden that topic further, in the hopes that we can bring a better understanding to the role of clinical care, particularly for those who … Read more
Breaking down the myths and false narratives Over the decades I’ve worked in this field, the terms we use have changed or adjusted as professionals have built programs to promote their beliefs about male sexual dishonesty. Whether we are talking about pornography “addiction,” deceptive or compulsive sexuality, the words and explanations we use matter. Now, … Read more
And, the mission of Center for Peace Warning: Please read this post with caution Let’s take a deeper look at the impact of abuse from a victim’s perspective. What you’ll read in this post will be written with strong language. These statements are not exaggerations or implied absolutes of a few men. These remarks represent … Read more
“Targeted Partner Abuse©” is a unique type of human interaction. It happens in private, behind closed doors. It is often so covert that even those who have access to some of the internal workings of the family or marriage relationships do not see the nuanced abuse. Abuse is like that. In our social world we … Read more
This is more than an inability to heal or move forward Occasionally, it is important to stop and evaluate what is being said in other corners of the so-called ‘recovery’ world, where terms like addiction, struggling, tempted, lust, etc., permeate the culture of what is abusive betrayal of a primary intimate partner. As happens when … Read more
How to understand the lack of fairness and justice for victims of abuse The idea of the ‘Just-World Fallacy’ stems from a belief that the world is generally good and fair, and people get what they deserve. This belief holds that actions have consequences in alignment with ethics and morality. Thus, when bad things happen, … Read more
More on how language contributes to victim pathologizing? Decades ago, when all we had were wives’ groups from the various AA, NA, SA recovery programs, wives of men who use ‘Targeted Partner Abuse©’ attended those groups so that we had a place where we could talk to other women who understood what we were going … Read more
The Correct Way to View our Human Interactions in Adverse Settings Victims Respond to Abuse/Violence No matter the issue, situation, or context, all human beings respond in one way or another to violence and abuse. That may be going small and quiet, or it may be fighting back physically depending on the context. Human beings … Read more
