Coach Joi 
A different Perspective on Moving Forward Over the years, we’ve talked about and written on the topic of healing from multiple perspectives. We continue this conversation that we might be able to hold this construct better as we strive to find safety and security in some of the most difficult personal experiences a human endures. … Read more
If you follow the big names on social media talking about abuse, using any of the common terms used currently, you’ve likely heard a lot about coercive control being about a power or control behavior by the perpetrating husband over the wife. While this can be one of the presentations, there are many other variables, … Read more
Comparing the United States to Other Countries We’ve known for years that our legal system is not set up to protect victims of abuse and coercive control. In fact, there are so many issues in the legal arena women continue to face, despite the prevalence of this behavior. Unfortunately, in other countries, they are doing … Read more
You might not want to read a post about the new year or success yet. You might still be soaking in the holidays or trying to dig yourself out from underneath Christmas. This is the week when we eat what we want, don’t check the time, and try to stay in our pjs as much … Read more
A discussion to help navigate boundaries, rules, and expectations. It can become exhausting to keep up the pace and the back and forth when dealing with an abuser. Whether you are still in the marriage, under the same roof, or not. Divorced or separated, we need to make sure we are not extending more effort … Read more
When there is no place for your voice Many women experience a type of abuse that centers around the proverbial ‘communication problem’. In these marriages, there may or may not be the other elements of power and control where abuse involves financial control, parenting control, personal autonomy issues, or sexual betrayal. What is present is … Read more
For decades, we’ve been taught that therapy is the primary—if not the only—path to healing when life becomes overwhelming. Whether we’re struggling with destructive coping patterns like substance use, compulsive behaviors, or the ripple effects these issues create within a marriage or family, the common message is clear: Go to therapy, and that will fix … Read more
If there is one comment shared with me by the wives I work with more than others, it is that the lies are more difficult to deal with than other pattern of behavior. Lies destroy so much. Lies, like so many other ideas and theories in mental health, we’ve whittled down their meanings with clever … Read more
Abusers Weaponize Everything and Anything Weaponizing is exploitation. It is the manipulation of anything and everything an abuser can use to get to the objective he is after. Since there are so many ways victims may experience a weaponized tactic, let’s talk through a few. Incompetence and Capability Most of us will experience the weaponization … Read more
About Empathy This week’s blog comes to you as a result of a social media post we saw on narcissism. The main point of that post was about empathy. The post started OK, until they got to this point, “…empathy is a capacity you either possess or you don’t…” Those of you who know us … Read more
