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Coach Joi’s Story: A Revolutionary Model for Correcting Abuse and Restoring Equality in Relationships

I have worked in the field of violence and abuse for decades. Year after year, I’ve studied and researched theory and implored Heaven for divine guidance to bring about a model that would not only meet the needs of the clients I work with but would also ethically and morally align with my personal lens on human interaction and behavior.

Correcting Abuse – Protecting Victims & Restoring Dignity

After decades of personal experience and research, I developed a model that addresses the correcting of problematic behaviors where commercialized and merchandised sexual misconduct destroys both the consumer and their partner.

The Model

The premise of this model is that human beings are social agents, with inherent rights and dignity that must be honored for us to have agreeable society with one another. When dignity is violated, people will respond and resist, as any social agent would who intrinsically understands that violence and abuse are wrong. Violence and abusive acts are an affront to dignity and lead to humiliation – a profound wound left even more deep when misrepresented by the discourse of our day.  

Commodification of Women

Our anthropomorphic story has a deeply embedded history of women as commodities from which business is transacted, particularly in systems of patrilocality or patriarchy, marriage is the economic transactional exchange of a woman. Often this exchange is between two men, her father and her future husband (Hudson, 1995), thus, the stage is set for a hegemonic narrative that is as dismissive of human rights as it is degrading of all its actors.

Transactional Sex

When sex is transactional and unilateral it is the impetus for violence as opposed to the mutual act, consented to by both parties, for a loving, caring gift exchanged of body and soul. The Human Debasement Industrial Complex (Coach Joi, 2001), from which countless forms of human degradation has been generated, controls the discourse used to inscribe the language of human sexuality. Likewise, it controls the descriptors of violence towards women and children, as well as the collusive narratives used by perpetrators for impunity. 

Compelled to Help Bring About a Change Model

With this understanding and conviction, I am compelled to do all I can to bring to the forefront appropriate instruction and training to change the trajectory of my work with victims and the men who violently abuse them. 

Though amazing work has been accomplished thus far, there is so much more that must be done to pursue truth, teach accurate information using correct models and language so that our labor to change the discourse of this social epidemic will effect a correct and safe outcome for both genders.

“There will be no peace in the world until there is equality between men and women”

Hudson, 1999

Whether we are collectively seeking world peace or individually seeking to illuminate the spin-doctor’s discursive control of the language of violence in our world, I feel charged with this injunction as stated by Hudson. The tenets of Center for Peace are founded on the principle that we are equal, not identical. We are all agentic beings with our own personal authority and as such, we have a stewardship to treat one another with dignity and respect. If you are seeking to find a way to navigate your experience and feel dignity and peace restored to you and your partner – reach out to Center for Peace for a discovery session.

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